Alien Ninja » Ninja Likes

Consumable Aggregation Location

A Ninja — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:20:08 +0000

Recently upon enjoying a stroll on the beaches of the fortress of Hawaii Robot San had an unfortunate encounter with a “seagull” and “seaweed.” Apparently they are not compatible with his operating conditions and I was forced to find some replacement parts and software. I searched several places before finding myself in the Ala Moana shopping center. While similar design to the Ninja training school of Kobos Prime it differed significantly inside. Instead of rooms filled with deadly training apparatus and equally deadly Master Instructors. Instead I found a huge variety of shops and friendly people willing to help with your acquisition of any worldly goods you might desire. I did locate the correct hardware and programs at their “Apple” store.

I then found myself relaxing with an earthly “Mai Tai“. Unfortunately I found that while I THOUGHT it was compatible with my biology, I found out differently the following morning. I Give this shopping center 5 ninja stars. I give Mai Tais negative 3.

Terraforming and Creature Simulator

A Ninja — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 21:07:07 +0000

Every Ninja must be schooled in the full arts of continuing the civilization if something should happen. This extends to terraforming and the recreating of the Elder tradition of the Ninja. While called a “Video Game” I find it hard to believe that anything as serious as the colonization of the Galaxy is treated as a “game.” Although I did not detect any of Earth’s previous terraforming attempts while en-route to the planet I have happened upon a training simulation code named “Spore” This very detailed program was able to create the basic organisms that are needed to maintain the ecosystem all the way through the advanced science of intergalactic conquest. The only gripe I have with the program is that it does not have an accurate picture of the Galaxy. The omissions of the Frekk Nebulea? How does that really happen? The Tripoch Star formations of the galactic North? Quite something to “overlook.” Despite these short comings I most certainly will bring this back with me when I have completed my mission. I give it 5 Ninja Stars.

Invasion Landing Sites

A Ninja — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:49:32 +0000

The location I chose to land when I began my quest for the Fiery lotus was galactic coordinates 86778*7798/65687*5889. Locally this area was named “Kualoa Ranch” of the Oahu island of Hawaii. (Which happens to mean “Land of plentiful joy” in my native tongue) I then used my powers of shadow melding to gain access to the Secret Island. Those “Normal” humans whom had booked through Kualoa Ranch used the provided private ferry to get there. I was amazed once I got there of the astounding white beaches and delicious BBQ (Robot San is still decoding that acronym) they provide. The many humans amused themselves with a simple ping-pong game similar to those used in our school for young ninjas to teach our lightning reflexes. They then collapsed into strange net like things they referred to as “hammocks” and proceeded to lose consciousness. Others lost themselves in kayaking and this “snorkeling” which looks like imitating the aqueous people of the Ferruyt oceans. Someone also mentioned Catamaran Cruises but I will remote more on this once I free myself from this “hammock.”

Despite the treacherous alien traps I give this landing site 5 ninja stars!

Guide to Compatible Local Foodstuffs

A Ninja — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:43:23 +0000

I have discovered one of this planet’s finest delicacies “SPAM Musubi”. A unique taste which I have only once encountered before on Ssorg 5 of the Getrutte system. This however was from a wild animal that had to be hunted and slain only 19 Yerts (Thats 5 Earth minutes) before eating — but that is beside the point. Upon tasting these delicacies I knew I would have to acquire the method used to create this foodstuff. Utilizing my shadow stealth train I managed to procure the “recipe” for the “SPAM Musibi” from a large stack the cooking drone had foolishly left on the table. I now pass this information on as it is only just that the common man know about these!

INGREDIENTS:

2 cups uncooked short-grain white rice
2 cups water
6 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
1 can (12 ounces) Spam luncheon meat
2 sheets sushi nori (dry seaweed)

Optional:

1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup brown sugar

Rinse uncooked rice until water is clear. Drain and let sit for 1 hour. Add two cups water and Bring to boil, then turn to low heat and simmer covered for 20 minutes.

Turn rice into bowl and add rice wine vinegar. Turn rice with a wooden spoon or paddle to coat rice and cool.

Cut Spam into 1/4-inch slices from shorter end of block. Fry until crispy and browned on both sides. If desired, marinate first in soy sauce and brown sugar mixture.

Cut nori sheets in strips and lay out shiny side down. With moistened hands, fashion rice into a rectangular form about 1/2 inch thick. Place on nori strip. Top with spam and another layer of sticky rice. Fold nori strip around the musubi and seal in place with water.

I give 4 Ninja stars to this Earth delicacy

Best Location For Staging Reconnaissance Campaigns

A Ninja — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:21:41 +0000

Imperative to a successful campaign on another planet is a proper staging location. While I had to send my ship out to maintain complete stealth I stayed in local lodging known as the Aqua Wave Hotel.

Centrally located to my mission in Waikiki, this staging area provided a very relaxing atmosphere to unwind after my scouting missions, with large rooms able to accommodate my incredibly sizable ninja-trained muscular bulk along with that of Robot San.

Robot San even made a friends with the refrigerator and microwave in the room (he does enjoy his binary conversations).

All in all 5 Ninja stars.

Planetary Information Network Node

A Ninja — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:03:59 +0000

I have been working with Robot San to utilize his advanced technology to obtain access to your planetary information network. On gaining access, Robot San suffered a circuit twitch and we found ourselves looking at a particular site that I felt should be shared with other visiting aliens, alien-ufos.com. This site is apparently one of the longest surviving “Alien” and “UFO” nodes on this planetary network. The site is an invaluable alien resource, as it lets you explore the many ideas these “humans” have about us. It will also reveal which species have been discovered due to poor secrecy. If we are to maintain a presence on this planet proper observation of their intelligence is important. And stop with the probing!

I give it 5 Ninja stars.